Hell or Heaven
She had agreed.
Why the hell had she agreed to that insane proposition again? Oh right, because it was more like a demand than a suggestion accompanied by all kinds of threats.
He'd told her he would kill, maim and turn anyone she knew. The words alone weren't enough to make her comply — and he knew that. The look in his eyes, this deeply evil, intense look of power that could crush you in a matter of seconds, had made her shiver in fear understanding he'd to anything to get what he wanted.
This was her problem and she planned on solving it on her own. She'd put herself in this mess and she needed to get out of it herself. There was absolutely no need to pull others in; they were in danger enough already. The icy Queen C did have a heart despite popular believe of the contrary.
So, she'd agreed. At least she'd been herself enough to include her survival — fully alive — in this contract from hell.
Two full nights had passed since the fateful evening that Cordelia had consented to be Angelus' brand new toy. He'd left her then, but not before throwing another one of those leering grins her way.
Since that minute it had been nothing but waiting and thinking about the repercussions for her. She knew quite well that she probably wouldn't like what he had in store for her. Whatever it may be. Deep down, though, in the far back of her mind, she wasn't really dreading the upcoming meeting with the vampire but anticipating it.
Now the time had come.
She was standing in front of his bulky mansion on creepy Crawford street. With its menacing darkness it looked anything but inviting to her. She didn't expect the inside to be any different, especially with an inhabitant like its current one.
It was almost dark now and she didn't have much of a choice but to take action now. You just didn't stay outside in this particular area after sunset — everyone in Sunnydale knew that — as most of the houses around here were occupied by non- human species. Not even if you were visiting the devil himself.
Despite everything she knew, she hesitated before lifting a hand to knock at the heavy wooden door. She waited and waited anxiously while it as getting darker by the second but no answer came, not even a single sound could be heard.
Turning around and going home was not an option. He'd make all of his threats come true, she was sure — and afraid of it. So, she did what she had to do. With her heart beating wildly inside her too tight chest she pressed down the handle and took a step inside her new prison.
It was nothing like she'd expected it to be.
The room she stepped into was tinged in almost darkness, her needing a moment to adjust. The only source of light came from a fireplace opposite her. A few logs were burning in there providing a warm and almost cosy atmosphere.
The sparse decoration of the place with just two couches in front of the fireplace and several book shelves along the walls took nothing away from the fact that she felt more at home her than at her family's house.
All for fear had drained away for the moment, curiosity taking over its place.
Looking further around, she spotted a staircase leading up to the next level on her right. She guessed that he might be up there somewhere doing who knows what. Courage flooded her system and she turned to take the risk going upwards. After all, she wasn't here to wait for his infernal majesty.
Before she could even take a single step in the direction, everything was taken out of her hands. "I can almost hear you shaking and jittering in those designer boots daddy bought his precious little girl."
She had no idea where he'd suddenly come from thinking herself alone in the room. Then again, he was a vampire and this was one of their creepy traits. It did make clear to her that an escape was as likely as Willow becoming the new head cheerleader.
He stood close, way too close for her liking.
His body touched hers in more than one place quite comfortably. Despite the fact that he was a vampire his body seemed to radiate with warmth. He'd whispered his taunting words into her ear and she could practically feel every single movement of his lips.
He was making her shiver with his close proximity. Not out of fear.
"Pfft. Get to the point and finish this thing," she demanded with her mouth once more quicker than her brain.
She had to force herself not to turn her head upwards. Under no circumstances would she look into his eyes now. Her mind would unstoppably wander back to the promises she'd seen in those seas of chocolate. Promises that didn't speak of unbearable pain but of endless hours filled with nothing but sensual passion.
"Why so spiteful, darlin'? I had nothing but the nicest things in mind for us."
There went her resistance. Cordelia turned to protest and the first thing she spotted was that damn leer again.
She opened her mouth to give him a piece of his mind but he simply clamped a hand over her lips. "Now now, you'll have plenty of time to use this gorgeous mouth later. Preferably on me. For now, though, sit down and appreciate my extraordinary hospitality."
For now, she would do as instructed, definitely not asked, but they both knew that it just wasn't in her nature to be completely submissive. It was one thing that had drawn him in after all.
Sitting down she took the chance to have a closer look at the vampire. She shouldn't have been surprised but, considering the circumstances, what she caught sight of still rattled her thoroughly. It wasn't so much what he was wearing that threw her for a loop but rather what he wasn't.
Obscene — the theme word of their last encounter — just didn't cover this anymore. The only piece of clothing covering him was a pair of quite tight leather pants. And that was it. Bare feet and bare chest.
A closer look made her even more nervous now. It wasn't like she'd planned on checking out that particular area on purpose but he'd probably counted on her wandering eyes. His pants, sitting low on his hips, were actually unbuttoned and only held up by a zipper. He didn't seem to be a fan of underwear either.
Looking up she caught his knowing smirk right before he turned around a corner and vanished from the room.
Her brain was obviously switched off because she didn't think once of the consequences before leaping from the couch and making a mad dash to the mansion's entrance door.
As she would've expected when thinking clearly, her escape was over before it had really begun. Her hand was almost touching the door handle, freedom in sight, when once again he appeared out of nowhere beside her. The dangerous glint in his eyes told her the stakes she'd played for had been too high.
It was all over. For now.
He grabbed her around the waist unceremoniously with one of those steel bands he called arms and dumped her back on the couch. "Stay put," he ordered and this time she didn't dare to contradict him.
She found two wine glasses standing on the table in front of her that she hadn't noticed before. They both contained a red liquid, one slightly darker than the other.
Angelus took one of them holding it out for her to taste. She hesitated a second longer while eyeing the glass's content suspiciously. He could have, after all, slipped a drug into it to have her at his mercy and do unspeakable things to her. The idea didn't seem as abhorrent to her as it should be in the company of an evil vampire.
"Now listen, darlin'. We have made a deal as you hopefully remember and it will not be rescinded unless I say so. Your job is to entertain me whenever I feel the desire to and you will do what I'm going to ask you whether you like it or not. If you play nice, I'll be quite generous but if you don't... well, you'll know. I can already feel the taste of your poor daddy's blood on my tongue." He sighed then in obvious enjoyment of this vision.
The smirk was apparently stuck to his lips calling out to her in its dangerous and leering appearance.
To emphasize his point, he took a sip from his glass licking over his lips repeatedly afterwards. It was clear to her that it was anything but wine, the consistency too thick for it. He could be drinking the blood of her father right now, or one of her friends' and it scared her to no end.
"Fine. What do you want?" she agreed half-heartedly. She tamped down her urge to fight him all along the way and tried to appear resigned as best as she could.
Playing with the vampire was a dangerous game but she figured if he wanted to kill her he would have long done so. Escaping had also been crossed off her list of things to do; it was safer for all the people she cared about. That left finding out his motives, a task that was anything but easy.
"You'll be thoroughly entertained by me tonight. I expect the same from you in return but it can wait until next time. I have a vast experience with pleasure, darlin'. For tonight you only need to watch and learn."
Cordelia wanted to be disgusted, appalled by his words but felt that she couldn't resist being lulled deeper and deeper into this world. Oh yes, he definitely had some deathly skills, both figuratively and literally speaking.
"Sure, whatever. Just don't think I'm going to call you master or something," she returned with a roll of her eyes trying to hide any feelings that would spur on this innuendo-laced talk.
She obviously hadn't been very successful. "Don't worry, God will do when time... and you come."
The smile playing on his lips was as much dangerous as it was promising. A look into his eyes confirmed her suspicions that he was indeed insinuating what she thought he was with that statement. He didn't seem to be able to say anything without another hidden, mostly sexual, meaning behind his words. It wasn't much of a surprise to her.
"Now follow me."
The next hours spent in the company of Angelus, vampire extraordinaire, were unlike anything she'd ever experienced or come close to imagine. He still kept up with the double entendres and the occasional death threat but it seemed almost normal to her after a time.
At one point — she couldn't even remember when it happened — she had stopped seeing him simply as vicious killer and vampire. He was so much more complex, and more than interesting.
Gone were fear and resistance. She was thoroughly enjoying his company.
It wasn't really a single thing that stood out in her assessment of him; it was the whole package. 250 years.
She discovered he was a charming and smart man who knew all about proper compliments and gentlemanly behaviour. Listening to his tales of the past, that almost seemed like history lessons but much more interesting, kept her glued to the couch.
He had it all — charisma, knowledge, smartness, a sense of humor, passion. All of it wrapped up in a hot body that she found more and more difficult not to lose herself in.
After he had lulled her in she had never once entertained the thought of leaving again. Maybe that had been his intention all along — sweet-talking her until she couldn't tell left from right anymore. Almost 250 years of experience had to count for something.
There was a little nagging thought in the back of her mind that he was totally playing her but, consciously or not, she chose to ignore that voice and only be pulled in deeper. He was simply too irresistible, now more than ever since she'd gotten a good look at the man within the vampire.
She felt light-headed as well, which was probably due to the fact that he kept pouring her more of thewine, urging her on to drink. No, she wasn't drunk yet but definitely past the stage of tipsy. The bad thing was that alcohol lowered her inhibitions. Dramatically.
It had all started pretty harmlessly at first — him offering her a tour of the house and her agreeing without giving it much thought.
She had seen the study lined with bookshelves of an impressive amount of first editions. Next came the kitchen where, after she'd eyed the pots and pans, he had told her that he sometimes craved other things than blood. The other rooms on the lower level passed like a blur with nothing striking to see. Or maybe it was the mix of alcohol and the speed with which he pulled her along.
Then he had led her upstairs and she still didn't object or get in the least suspicious. The reason was fairly simply and as old as time. He had distracted her by divulging a story about the 'good old days' back home in Ireland while opening door after door. She never really looked into any of the rooms, enthralled by his talent as storyteller.
And suddenly it was too late to back out.
He opened another door, the last as he explained, and she found herself in his bedroom. It was closed and locked from the inside before she had fully grasped what had just happened.
She wanted to protest feeling sober when reality crushed the web he had woven. Taking a look at him, she found another one of those devilishly boyish smirks gracing his features right along with a glimmer of evil in his eyes. It all screamed loudly that any kind of resistance would be ftile.
Cordelia let her eyes wander around the room while trying to sort out her thoughts. It was as sparsely decorated as the rest of house but that didn't take away from the impression it immediately made on her. She felt as if she had just entered some kind of brothel- like place. Not that she had ever been to one.
A king-sized bed covered with obviously rumpled silk sheets of a blood-red color dominated the room. A pair of handcuffs dangled from the iron-wrought frame on one side right beside where a long cloth was tied to it. The windows were covered by thick black drapes not letting a smidgen of light in, she noted fleetingly as her eyes came to rest on the towel that was lying on the floor. Then an open drawer caught her attention but before she had a chance to give in to the urge to discover, he distracted her once more.
"I want to draw you."
He definitely took her by surprise with that. She spun around to give him a piece of her mind, only to find him looking at her in seriousness and joyful anticipation. Shivers trickled down her back like icy cold hands.
Suddenly there was another glass of deep red wine in her hand and before she could really dive into giving his proposition some serious thought, she had agreed. Almost gleefully the vampire then proceeded to tell her the next step in a way only a master of arts could. "Then strip and get on the bed."
"Excuse me?" Cordelia wasn't sure if her ears were deceiving her or if he had indeed just said that.
Apparently, he did because that damn irresistible smirk was back in the game and she felt lost again immediately. It had become a symbol for her — either she did what he wanted or someone would die a painful death. Then again, it was anything but difficult to follow his demands when he uttered them in such a sinful and sexy way.
"I like faces and I do draw them but I have each of your pretty features memorized for eternity. At nudes I'm an expert. Women used to fall at my feet when getting the chance to be a model for me, drawn in all their naked glory. They tasted that much better afterwards. Blood filled with adrenaline and arousal pumping through their veins," he boasted and licked his lips in remembrance of past pleasures.
She opened and closed her mouth repeatedly but not a single sound dared to cross her full lips. For the first time since meeting the vampire she was truly asking herself if she would ever know the real expanse of the deal she had made with him. In all probability the answer was no.
So, what was there left for her to do? What choice did she have anyway? Living in the moment was her course of action ever since she had struck that deal. For now she would once more resign to her fate of being Angelus' slave and toy.
He was obviously eager and couldn't wait much longer. "Strip or I'll do it."
Defeat was clearly visible in her whole demeanour and he didn't seem to like it. Yet.
It was time for another change of tactic, that much was clear. He didn't want her to give up. It wasn't the time. This course of action — even though her physical well-being was more secure than it had been since days — was much more dangerous than any of the previous ones. An emotional kind of mind game.
The vampire was clearly out to seduce her.
Slowly he was circling around her looking her up and down as if evaluating her price or worthiness. Still, it felt like a smooth caress, like a ghostly whisper across her skin and she felt sensitive and vulnerable. He was simply looking at her and she was already craving more, desiring him, wanting everything and so much more.
After three rounds she jumped when his hand softly touched her lower back. A moment later he stood in front of her, much too close and much too handsome.
She had no idea where to look now that the wall across wasn't available anymore. He was towering over her in all his muscular and lean glory. Confronting her with an up, close and personal look at his toned chest and broad shoulders was almost more than she could take.
She wanted him and preferably now. Yet, a part of her was also afraid. She was in too deep already.
As always when getting into situations where she didn't know how to get out of, she simply faced them head on. She was here now and it was clear what he wanted. Why not appreciate the male perfection in front of her, offering himself...
Her eyes travelled down over chiselled abs and confirmed quickly that, indeed, the button of his pants was still undone. From her current perspective the view was even more interesting or rather revealing.
Cordelia finally turned up her face after a little coaxing by him. His hand felt so big on her cheek, so soft yet deadly. And then she looked into his eyes, chocolate brown with golden sparkles of lust, passion and humour. He knew her thoughts exactly.
How was she supposed to stay collected and detached when assaulted by all of this?
Angelus was somehow sill a little boy who loved to play and a playmate who didn't participate was simply not an option. He would keep the object of his desire in the game as long as he wanted.
His lips found their way to her neck quite easily while his strong arm simultaneously pulled her even closer, letting her feel everything he had to share. He was gentle with her, much more gentle than she had ever thought him capable of. Then he started these sucking motions on her skin and she ceased thinking altogether.
She tried to grab something anything to hold on to as she started to feel her legs give in. What he was doing felt too good, like nothing she had experienced so far. First, it were only his soft lips. Then he brought his tongue into play, and oh dear, what a talented tongue it was.
Her hands wound themselves around his waist, pulling him to her as close as she could. All she wanted to do was feel.
A long moan escaped her dry throat when his elongated teeth scraped over the skin right above her jugular vein, always just a hair's breadth away from smirking into her skin. She should be scared out of her wits but in truth she was anything but knowing somehow he wasn't out for that. At least for the moment.
He was irresistible knowing all the right places to arouse her until she was nothing but putty in his hands. And when his name left her lips in ecstasy, she had let go of that final straw of hope to be able to escape this vampire's clutches.
He had clearly won this round. But not the game.
She couldn't remember when it happened or how he did it but when a cold wind blew over her skin, she noticed she was indeed naked as a bird. All the protest of how he could stop what he was doing died on her lips. Turning her eyes up to his she found him smirking at her. "Told you so."
And didn't she feel silly now. She should have known.
As embarrassment and that little bit of shyness wanted to creep up on her she recognized the look in his eyes for what it was — lust beyond the imaginable.
Like in trance she did get on the bed then, watched him as he got out his sketchpad and sat down on the chair opposite her.
With a few simple words he told her how to position herself. She followed his instructions without any hint of objection. It wasn't really anything revealing but rather flattering accentuating all her curves in the right angles.
The next however long went by in a blur. She just couldn't seem to remember much of it except hearing how his pen scraped over the paper's surface, how his eyes set her body on fire whenever he looked up, and how completely comfortable she had been ensconced in his room.
Much later, it was already morning with the sun shining brightly, Cordelia finally prepared to leave the mansion.
She didn't even dare to think about what had transpired in those hours she had spent here. Thinking meant having to tackle everything and she absolutely didn't have the strength to do that at the moment.
As she was about to grab the door handle to escape her temporary prison, the vampire she thought she had left upstairs suddenly stood behind her, as close as humanly possible. His whole body was touching hers from head to toe. Shivers of excitement ran through her body immediately and once again she had to fight the urge to completely stop resisting him, just to give in and let him have her in every possible way.
"I'll be seeing you in two days. Same time, same place. Don't be late, darlin'," he whispered into her ear, with a voice so low and sultry she could hardly contain herself.
Cordelia knew she would come. It weren't the cruel death threats anymore, no, it was him alone. In these last hours she had become am addict — for his attention, his care, his sensuality, his knowledge and also his body, as she had to admit grudgingly. She was a lost case before it had really begun.
Of course he wouldn't let her go without an appropriate goodbye, vampire style.
The weight of his hands on her shoulders was sudden but not really unexpected. His thumbs were drawing gentle circles beneath the edge of her sweater while his soft, his oh so soft lips carried out the next assault on her slender neck.
All she could do was stand there frozen to the spot and let it all enfold. It felt too good to stop him. Just a moment longer couldn't hurt, so she leant back even further.
She felt his knowing smile on her skin when, inadvertently, a long and passionate moan left her mouth. His hands slid slowly down her arms, one finding rest on her hip and the other catching her hand.
Faster than she had thought her legs turned to jelly. If she hadn't leant against his body she would have sunken to the ground helplessly. She grabbed the hand holding her own harshly, couldn't stop her ruby red nails sinking deeply into the pale flesh.
Then, there was his voice again. Close to her ear, so close his lips were touching with every syllable he uttered. "I'm looking forward to feel your nails scratching down my sweaty back while I'm buried impossibly deep inside your warm haven."
It was as if someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over her head.
"Is that supposed to get me all hot and bothered now?!" Her shaky voice and aroused body belied her seemingly uncaring words.
He knew the truth anyway; he was a vampire. "Sure you are, darlin'."
"You wish."
She wanted to slap herself.
As soon as the words had left her mouth, she remembered that this was how this whole escapade had actually started. She had dared him, she thought, but it was in fact him who had started the game. Of course, she had fallen for it hook, line and sinker. It was simply in her nature to never resist a temptation or dare. Apparently, he has studied her well and was aware of her weaknesses and strengths, knew her better than she would have ever wanted him to.
"I can still smell it all over you, baby. You're so hot for me, you will go up in flames if I touch you now. Mmm, I need more of that."
A second later his fangs sank smoothly into the column of her slender neck.
