Going Deeper
Do you know the sayings time is a great healer and time heals all wounds? Well, it's all a lie. Some cuts are just too deep to ever go away; they'll keep existing no matter what you do. Not everything is going to heal over once a certain amount of time has passed. It's simply impossible. All that time does, is gloss over it.
There are wounds that, even though they've become invisible on the outside, still burn as painful as ever on the inside.
It's not like you don't want them to go away but nothing you try well ever help. They're there, ingrained in your body. Not for everyone to see. It isn't even important that others are aware of your inner pains; they couldn't help you anyway.
Some are even meant to be hidden. Opening them up would only break you apart. It's like twisting a knife again and again. Not physically but psychically. Tearing you part at the seems because it's too painful to even think of the things buried deep inside you.
Why would time be able to heal anyway?
Is it because you might forget everything that's caused the anguish? Not possible. If you've valued the reason, you'll never just disremember it. Never.
Is it because you're supposed to only remember the good times? Good times come hand in hand with bad times. It's not possible to separate them. Never.
Is it because after a while the pain should lessen? Maybe on the outside it'll all be smoothed over but the inside – when you dare to look – shows a picture that is anything but.
Time is not a healer. It only disguises the heartache to make you shiny and new again.
Deep down inside you it boils, waiting for the one day when you're not paying attention to catch you in that weak moment. Then it'll break free and you, you'll be shattered into pieces. Pieces of hurt, sadness, anguish. You'll be alone to pick them up again and it'll be a tremendous task. Sometimes it'll be impossible. Pieces won't fit, will be missing or you're broken into too many of them.
What then? Time won't help you. Not now, not ever.
No one is listening to your cries. Even if they are your last hope. No one is listening because you've become an expert at hiding your true feelings, giving everyone the impression that everything is fine with you. Your silent cries fall on deaf ears.
All you need is to hear these few simple words. Everything will be okay again. Even if it's not true, you know that someone is caring enough to help you pick up the pieces of your broken heart. Just someone.
But you find yourself unable to stumble upon that special someone.
